Thank Dustin for the blessing

On Sunday morning, I drove to church. I felt better today. At least not like yesterday. Yesterday was the worst day since Pat left. I can't stop crying the whole afternoon and evening. I have to call Nancy to talk for almost 1 hour.

We stayed for the full 3 hours. I went to Nursery with Ian. We went home for a nap after the church meetings and went to Nancy's house for dinner. Nancy has asked Dustin at the church today if he can give me a blessing and tell him my situation. She also told the Relief Society sisters. So the Relief Society presidency is coming to visit me on Monday.

My hone teacher, Dustin, came to give me a blessing. I felt immediate comfort during the blessing. And I know that I will be ok from then. It's so amazing how the priesthood works. And I am fine since then. Thank Dustin for the blessing!! And thank you everyone for your support and encouragement.

P.S. There is also something which is very cute that I want to share.

I saw Aaron Larsen and Derek Barlett (2 teenage boys)at church.

Aaron asked me: "how are you?"
I said : "not good. "
Derek said: "you look depressed!"
I said : "I am depressed. Because my husband is not home for a while."
Derek said: "you should come over to my house and hang out. "

Then I saw Amy Barlett(Derek's mom).

Amy said: "girl, you should come over to my house."
I said:" I know."

You know, usually when people said that they don’t offer the next step like the date or something. But this is Amy. So she said next :
"come tomorrow and have lunch together. I will make you some Korean food."

That is Amy. Amy told Nancy all I need is Korean food to make me feel better. I love her.

I never thought it would be this hard!

On the 14th of September, Pat had to check in to the hotel that is near the base. Larry,Nancy, Ian and I drove him to the hotel and had dinner together. Ian cried when we left. After we got home, suddenly, I just realized that he is not home and won't be home for a while. I felt a liitle odd, too quite. While we were taking a bath, Ian kept calling "Daddy?Daddy?" Usually, Pat will sit in the bathroom talking to us and get us towels. But he was not there. I tried to tell Ian that Daddy is working somewhere far away and he won't be home for a while.Fortunately, he is fine with that. But I am not. After putting Ian to bed, I sat on the bed and cried.

The next morning(the 15th),we drove to base to attend his swear-in ceremony and stayed with him until he went to airport. That day, I felt so sad that I can't even go to babysit for 3 hours. I was very depressed , felt terrible lonesome and had a hard time to breathe. I tried to be strong. At least try not to cry in front of Ian. But my meltdown still came after Ian went to bed. That night, I cleaned the bathroom until 10:30pm and didn't fall asleep until 2 AM.

The 3rd day(the 16th), I tried to find things to do to keep me busy. I did went to babysit but can't even finish the 3 hours. I can't even smile. Ian was very emotional also. He screamed a lot and was cranky the whole day. So we dicided to go home early. Then I burst into tears when Ian was not listening to me. And we cried together. Pat called at about 1:30 pm to tell me his address. It's a very short call which is about 5 minutes.

The 4th day(the 17th) is a good day. I felt happy today because Pat called yesterday. I went to babysit and had a good time there. Ian acted normal today also. And I didn't cry today. I thought I was over this. But.......

The 5th day(the 18th), I was depressed so badly that I had to call Nancy to come to my apartment. I had my meltdown in the afternoon. Today, I cried twice. Very gloomy day for me.

The 6th day(thhe 19th), I was sort of happy this morning. I went to the enrichment activity. All is well. Then after Ian's nap, here is comes the crying. I was crying the whole afternoon. It was especially hard because it's Saturday. Usually, we do a lot of things together on Saturdays.And we are together the whole day. I have to call Nancy to talk again.

This has been really tough for me. And the interesting thing is----I never thought I would act like this at all. Nancy was surprised for my reaction,too. Seriously, I thought I would be just fine. I would be strong enough for it. Maybe feel lonely but definitely not like this. I'm nearly depressed. And I don't know what to do. Just pray a lot and find things to do.

When can I get over this? I hope it will be over soon.

The photo editing software--Smilebox

Make a Smilebox photobook

4th of July

Well, another wonderful 4th has come and gone.

This was a very fun and relaxing one, partly because it was on a saturday and i had Friday off (which is always good :D). We had the primary activity the day before and Ian got to play with all his friends and got to decorate his stroller with flags and stars. Even though it was a little hot that day, it was still a blast.

Saturday we had a very relaxing stake activity with hamburgers and hot dogs. Ian loved the fire works. he was a little scared but then started to laugh and enjoy the show. Over all it was a very nice time.

I guess I have been reflecting more and more about this time of year with me joining the Air Force, its amazing how perspectives change when your situatoins change. Hope all of you had a wonderful 4th of July!

Ian's so happy to see all those kids there

I love Balloon

Watermelon is my favorite!

Little White-Asian-Mexican????

Ian's trying to get rid of the decorations

Waiting in line for parade to start!

Ian & mama



Ian & Papa

【1Y3M】Hot dog is great!

Ian always has good apetite. He eats everything. When he started solid food, he ate everything i gave him. He even ate just white rice along. Until we came back from Taiwan this February.

He became a picky eater. I had to find new food for him every day. Most of the time, he wouldn't eat anything I prepared for him. That really frustrated me. He can't eat what we ate. He didn't like what I gave him. Until one day, Pat gave him a bite when he was eating hot dogs. Since then, Ian had found his favorite food. He eats a whole corn dog at a time. Sometime one is not even enough. Anyway, I was just happy he found something to eat.

【Our Dinning table】Taiwanese Pork Chop, Seasoned Rice and pickles

I love to cook!! Yes, I only cook chinese food. Once in a while I will make some dishes that aren't chinese food. But we eat rice every day in Taiwan. So that's what I cook here,too.

When I was pregnantt with Ian, I had a hard time getting all the food that I craved. Because I only craved for chinese food. Actually, Taiwanese food. Obviously, I can't get them in El Paso. So the only way to get them was to make them myself. I got online to find all the receipts and tried to make them. And I did pretty good. Other than those ingredients that I can't get, I made almost everything I want.

Thanks for all the bloggers, I found lots and lots of receipts. And I became a decent cook. That explains why Pat gained 25 pounds within 4.5 years since we got married.

But there is one problem is----I don't really follow receipts. I cook by feel. Some friends ask for my receipt. And it took me long time to get it to them because I don't have a receipt. I don't know how to tell people how much seasoning I put in. Even when I follow somebody's receipt, I change the ingredients according to my flavor and feeling.

So if you really want my receipt, please be patient with me.And I will get it done in english someday.

【1Y3M】Face off !

Look, he can be all serious in one second.

And make a face in the next second!

Look my face off show!!!

Ian loves to make faces. He thinks it's really fun because of mummy's reaction.

Yes, I laugh out loud at him. He likes my laugh. It makes him laugh,too. So he keeps making faces to get all the smile and laugh from me. And I like it,too. Fortunately, I got the vivid pictures of the face off show!

Let's get some tan

Last month, we went to a playdate with some sisters from our ward. It's a playdate/farewell. There were 3 families moving away. So Erica held this party for them and the kids.

She had a swimming pool and bubble machine and food ready for all of us. She even prepared the bath towels and the swimmers for the ones who weren't prepared,like us.

Ian's kind of scare of the swimming pool. I tried to put him in. But he cried and screamed not to go in at the first beginning. It took me 3 times to put him in. But after that, he is as happy as a fish in the water. He had a loot of fun.

2 hours passed before I got him out for some lunch. We took the beach towel and put it on the lawn. And quickly, everyone joined us for the little picnic.

While we were eating lunch,of course, Ian was wondering around instead of sitting downn. Then he saw the slide. He didn't know how to get on the slide through the right way. So he just laid his stomach on the slide and ate his watermelon there. And tried to get some tan, I guess.(Hah, like he isn't tan enough!) It was the cuttiest thing i had ever seen!! I love these pictures. Thank Erica for inviting us to the party.

Playing with ball!

Playing with other kids

Watching bubbles!

Sweet mummys!

Sweet mummys 2

My Little Prince

Ian got a puma shoes while he is in Taiwan. All his dress shoes were too small. So I decided to dress him with his puma shoes. The shoes is still a little bit big for him. But it all we have for now.

He looks so big with the sunday outfit I put on him. And he looks absolutely adorable. I love this outfit. It's perfect for him. He looks so nice and grown up.

Ian is a happy kid. He smiles a lot. He likes to have fun. And he doesn't cry much even when he bumped into something that hurt a lot.

He is my little angel. He is my happy little boy. He is my little prince.

Ian 's adorable smile

Look how handsome he is!

Video--Easter Egg Hunt

Activity---Easter Egg Hunt

This is Ian's first Easter Activity.

I have no idea what to do for the activity. So I asked Pat what did he do when he was little. We cooked the eggs, colored the eggs, decorated the eggs, put candies or chocolate or toys in the eggs. Then hid the eggs in the front yard for Ian to find.

Seriously, Ian had no idea what were we doing. We had to try really hard to show him how to find the eggs and put them in his Easter basket. It's hard for him to let go of the eggs. He just wanted to hold the eggs instead of putting them in the basket.

Grandpa and papa helped Ian to find the eggs everywhere. Actually, They found the eggs and told Ian to pick them up and put in the basket. Grandpa had to hold the basket for Ian. Because Ian didn't have extra hand to hold it when both of his hands were full of eggs.

Ian had no idea what's in the eggs. Until we showed him the candies. He was very happy to crack the eggs open and got the mouthful of candies. This was one of his happiest day ever because how much candies he ate. Hah!Hah!
(It took me a while to decide what to put in the eggs. I didn't want to put chocolate or other sweets. So I chose t to put the jelly beans in there. At least the jelly beans are a little bit healthier than chocolate, I said to myself.)

I'm ready to go.

"Where are they,Daddy?"

I got one!!!! How many do I have in the basket?

Grandpa: Put them in there,kid!

Put it well.

One more here hiding in the tree

Tour Around Taiwan--ShuiLi

After Jiji, we continue our trip to ShuiLi. There is a very famous kiln there. It's called " The Snake Kiln". It's one of the oldest, the most traditional firewood Kiln.

Pat, Ian & Grandma

Pat & Me

Pat